For me, the scale stayed stuck on 131 today, for my Monday Weigh In. I think I have been at this number (except for one day at 129.5) for 8 days straight. I have to admit, I started to fret, but then just decided, I am not getting down about it. I prayed this morning and believe I got the answer for what to do next. I have not been as thankful as I should have been in being in the 130's. This was a long time coming for me, and then to be able to lose 13 plus lbs in 33 days, is totally amazing to me. I know it wasn't all my own "hard work" and "committment" - I needed God's help and knew it. One of the reasons for the scale being stuck for past 8 days, I believe (personal conviction--not put on anyone else LOL), is, I hadn't given God the rightful place and glory for what has been accomplished (my intent is not to sound religious or offend anyone--I am just being the authentic me here). I am very thankful today for even being in the 130's. Thankful hearts are more at peace and peace will be more fruitful than anxiety ever could. I believe this will move the scale by next Monday. I am not changing any other thing--just being thankful and giving God glory for what He has accomplished in me SO FAST. I have to remember that it wasn't just me, being committed, because I have been there and done that and it never really worked long term for me. it was Him in me, doing it through me. I am very thankful today and just needed to say so.
UPDATE:Well, if you read my blog yesterday, you saw that I had been stuck on 131 for about 8 days. After praying, I felt convicted that I needed to be thankful for even being in the 130's at all, and also that I need to give credit where credit it due for this weight loss accomplishment. I know myself too well to ever think I could do this on my own. So, I made a decision not to change anything at all in my plan, EXCEPT to be more thankful and to give God the glory for it all. Today, when I stepped on the scale, it had moved down one pound! Again, I am not proud or patting myself on the back at all. I am just plain THANKFUL to God. I knew when I started this journey that it wasn't all about the weight loss but about what I would learn about myself and my faith, along the way. It has been a great journey and I wouldn't trade the things I have learned for anything in the world. I am even thankful that I had all this weight to lose, so that I could learn all these valuable lessons, and grow closer to God through it all.
UPDATE: 1/31/11 at 127 today and feeling especially Thankful!
You are beautiful creations of the Living God. He made you each for His own glory and praise. I know the enemy would love to torment you with condemning thoughts and keep your mind set on negative things. But, because you have been very honest with your feelings, he can now show you what to do next. First, turn your hearts towards "home" to Jesus who lives and dwells inside of you. If you are a believer, He is the only one who can do this weight loss thing in you. I just was up last night spending time with Him and in His Word and He spoke this very thing to me.
APART FROM HIM, WE CAN DO NOTHING. NOTHING....NOTHING. That means, NOTHING that will bear fruit that will last for Him. Every good thing we do without Him will one day burn up and not be counted in God's books. Now, some of you know what I mean here, and others may be confused or disagree. Can we lose weight without God's help? Probably. But is that the way you want to do this? I don't. I want God to get all the glory for everything I accomplish, even losing weight.
The frustration comes when we think WE must DO something in and of ourselves. WE CAN'T. Not anymore. Not since we are born again. It is not possible. We can't even pray this way: "LORD HELP US!..." Not really. Because that is saying WE are doing something and want Him to just "help us" achieve "our plans" and "our goals", instead of realizing the best way is to realize it is HIM, in us, DOING it.
This is really deep thinking, I know, and I am still pondering it all myself. But I, for one, intend to meditate on this truth He gave me last night. ABIDE in HIM and he will abide in me. To allow HIM to choose my food for me today. To allow Him to be in control and NOT me or my flesh or my choosing or my decisions, because I will always choose wrong, for the most part, because I am selfish in and of myself and I usually want to pet and stroke my flesh and feed it what it is crying out for. BUT, the Spirit of God inside of me is calling out to me to surrender to His will--to allow HIM to choose for me. This is a mindset and we have to approach it spiritually. This will only be won on the spiritual field. We cannot win this battle in our flesh or in our own minds or by our own strength. The world can--WE CANNOT. We play by different rules now. This is the love of the Father towards us--He is disciplining us and and He is loving us by teaching us to ABIDE in Him and allow HIM to choose our food (taking the time to ask HIM before I reach for anything to eat).
I, for one, am going to practice this teaching He gave me today. I will report back. And remember this, it doesn't matter if someone weighs 320 or 120 lbs, as Christians, we are ALL accountable to live by the spirit and give the flesh no provision to lead us. I love you all and I pray that this makes sense and you can grab a hold of SOME part of this teaching of the Holy Spirit and run with it TODAY. Today is a new day.
Lord, Jesus, fill my friends and myself, with the POWER of your HOLY SPIRIT today. Fill us completely so that there is no provision or room for the flesh to rule or reign in our bodies. Fill our hearts and minds with the POWER of your Holy Spirit. We submit ourselves body, soul, and spirit to YOUR LEAD and YOUR DECISION for what we eat and drink today, and what words come out of our mouths. We want to glorify you in and with our bodies TODAY. Lord, you only promise us this day. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. We commit ourselves to be in submission to your HOLY SPIRIT of promise, this day. We set our minds on you. We command our flesh to be quiet and submit today. This day is your day, Lord Jesus. We will glorify you with our bodies today. Amen!
I am about to get started making pralines and fudge today. Going to NOT eat any of them today. I plan to have one of each on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and that is it. I want to give myself the gift of good health and strength of body and mind this Christmas. I pray all of you are looking to the power of the Holy Spirit within you, to be victorious in every way, today! God bless you all!
I am posting some Scripture prayers I compiled from reading the Scriptures, in different sections of Joyce Meyer's book, The Secret Power of Speaking God's Word. These are the Scriptures from the Amplified Bible, but worded in prayer or declaration. The Word of God is powerful and sharp and able to divide joints and marrow and the thoughts and intentions of the heart. They have already built me up this morning and prepared me for the battle, in the kitchen, to come.
I have printed out and posted these on my refrigerator and plan to start memorizing 1 Cor. 6:12 right away and the rest throughout this new year. I also plan to keep a copy visible on my bathroom mirror and in my car and purse!
These Scriptures are not just for those wanting to be healthy in their eating and exercising plans, but also for those struggling with other issues, as well. Hope these bless you today!
SCRIPTURE PRAYERS:
I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men. Acts 24:16
I do not seek [by meditating and reasoning to inquire into] what I am to eat and what I am to drink; nor is my mind anxious [troubled, unsettled, excited, worried, and in suspense]. I only aim for and strive for and seek His Kingdom, and all these things shall be supplied to me also. Luke 12:29 and 31
Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything, or be brought under its power. 1 Cor. 6:12
In the day when I called, You answered me; and you strengthened me with strength (might and inflexibility to temptation) in my inner self. Psalm 138:3
I keep awake and watch and pray (constantly), that I may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Mark 14:38
I pray to God that I will not be overcome by temptation. Luke 22:40
I will be subject to God. I will resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from me. James 4:7
Blessed (happy, to be envied) am I when I'm patient under trial and stand up under temptation, for when I have stood the test and been approved, I will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12
God is my refuge and strength (mighty and impenetrable to temptation), a very present and well-proved help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
My eyes wait for You (looking, watching and expecting) and You give me food in due season. You open Your hand and satisfy me with favor. Psalm 145:15-16
But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! Habakkuk 2:3 (TLB)
Friday, November 05, 2010
From the very first day I began this weight-loss journey, I knew in my heart it was not about the weight loss. That I was going to be learning a lot spiritually through this journey and I was excited. This has proven true over and over.
Last week, I learned something new about myself and something new about God. I had the head knowledge about this, but not the experiential heart knowledge. There is a big difference! I had been planning to have this particular "crazy day" off my Michael Thurman 6 Week Body Makeover eating plan for about 8 weeks. The date for the "crazy day" was planned for October 31, my grandson's 8th birthday. Well, the week before the 31st, the day for his party was determined to be on the 30th instead of the 31st this year. So, I had my "crazy day" on the 30th. I enjoyed the day very much and ate whatever I wanted--CAKE, Ice cream, etc. Then, on the morning of October 31st, I woke up 2 lbs heavier on the scale.
I wasn't surprised. The other times I had "crazy days" I had also gained 2 lbs, so I was expecting this. I felt it was pretty much what I deserved and I expected to see that number. Then on the 31st I had total loss of control over my eating. This "crazy day" was NOT planned at all but I was craving everything and anything. I ate pretty much what I wanted all day. Things I never craved were calling my name--like CHILI CHEESE DOGS WITH ONIONS!!!! I was eating Halloween candy and dreaming of chili dogs. My DH wouldn't allow me to go get one and I was pretty well okay with that, because I had already had a full day of eating off plan anyway. But, boy was I craving that Chili Cheese Dog with Onions!!!
I went to bed on the night of the 31st beating myself up pretty good over losing control. No one has to beat me up EVER, because I always do a much better job LOL. So, before I feel asleep, I made up my mind that I would see another 2 lb gain on the scale the next morning and I determined that it was exactly what I deserved to get because I made the choice to eat that way knowing the consequences.
The next morning, on November 1st, I awoke to a weight LOSS not a gain! I was shocked. Then, I immediately felt God speaking to my heart and He said this:
"This is what GRACE looks like. You made wrong choices and had determined that you deserved punishment and you had made up your own mind what the penalty would be--weight gain; but, you are not to determine your own punishment or what you deserve--only I can and will do that. I chose to give you grace. That is what I decided to do for you".
I was humbled and greatly thankful! I learned a lot about myself through this. I learned a lot more about grace and God's unconditional love as well. I hope I never forget it!
I miss my son. I miss our alone times together. I miss the way we used to snuggle and give butterfly kisses at bedtime and other times and just be silly together. I miss doing homework with him. I miss making his bowl of Cheerios and putting sugar on it for him. I miss the way he used to come home from school and say, "Hey mom, will you make your Famous Chili for me". I miss the times he did crazy things to me, like "Let's go out for donuts, mom", and me the fool, believing he meant Shipley's and all the while he had other mischievous plans in store for me. I miss the day my little 8 year old boy rang the doorbell and when I opened the front door, he was holding a dead squirrel in one hand, a b.b. gun in the other and with tender tears of regret running down his face, he cried and confessed to me, "I thought killing an animal would be fun, but it wasn't"; and he let me comfort him. I even miss the "bandaide" times with my son..the times that the snips and snails and puppy dog tails would visit my world with cuts and bruises and dog bites and near overdoses on baby aspirin and putting a screwdriver into the wall socket and various hockey injuries...I miss my little son. He is all grown up and more than happily married now. He lives too far away to visit very often. Now, when I do see him on those rare and precious occasions, I am thankful for each and every nano-second. I drink up his voice and I capture his smell and I hold it all in my heart until the next precious visit comes. One of those visits will be tomorrow at our family reunion. I exhort you, drink up all these precious moments with your child, now. Store up photographs in your heart and mind for a near and coming bittersweet day when he is no longer your little boy, but he is a handsome and caring and strong man who loves the outdoors with a passion, who loves to hunt and fish and dress up in camo and lay stealth in the bushes before dawn, as still as a picture, for a cause he enjoys. He has an amazing wife he is madly in love with and who works together with him every day and plays together with him every weekend. He is a son who has inherited the joy and desire of his heart to live on a lake with a boat and a fishing pier. A son who turned out to be everything I had prayed he would be, and more than I could have imagined, which is exactly the way it should be, and I wouldn't change a thing; which is what makes the bitter sweet. But for all of this, God help me, I still miss my son.
WHAT IS YOUR FEAR AND IS IT HINDERING YOUR PROGRESS TO A GOAL?
Friday, October 01, 2010
I have felt fear over many things in my life, even about losing weight (see the blog I posted called "THE MIRROR OF TRUTH". Fear can trip you up and keep you from the very things you desire to have or do. My dear husband had a great desire for the two of us to get certified for SCUBA. But I was terrified of deep water and wouldn't even go into the deep end of a swimming pool, much less an ocean! But, because I loved my husband and I truly wanted to be free of this paralyzing thief of joy, I faced the fear and learned that the lie I was believing was, "If you get in water over your head, you will drown". I easily believed that lie, because when I was 9 years old, my brother who was just being a silly kid, stood on top of me in a pool and held me under until I almost drowned. When I took that fear to God a couple of years ago, He told me something very approximate to this: "You didn't drown because I didn't allow it, and I am with you still. Have no fear". The next thing I knew, I was in the deep end of a friend's pool while another friend taught me to tread water. The next week I was enrolled in a SCUBA diving certification class with my husband, and we both got certified. That is just one of the fears God helped me overcome.
I have come to fear God. I used to fear people more than God, but now I fear God more than people. He takes care of all my other fears. This has been a long and intentional process. I have learned that Fear is a liar & Perfect Love casts it out. I wasn't always in this place of being free of fear, so I can totally relate to anyone still being hindered by fear.
I don't believe I would be accomplishing this new found weight loss success, if the fears I believed about myself were not exposed and exchanged for truth. Everyday I am thankful for this. Now my question to you, my friends, is this: Do you sense that there is something holding you back from reaching your goals? Is it some kind of fear based thinking? Go ahead and look inside and see. If so, expose it for the enemy it is to you and replace it with the truth. You are so worth it! God bless you!
Recently, as I was taking notes and looking down at my lap, I had the thought "you are really small", in reference to my bust. Even though I am a 34F, that thought felt true to me. It was a random, but familiar thought. Soon after that thought, as I was at the sink washing my hands and looking into the mirror I realized, "You are NOT small!", Then, I immediately felt God telling me, "When you look into the 'Mirror' of Truth you see reality; when you walk away from the 'Mirror of Truth' you immediately go back to believing the old lies'. Soon after this happened, I had a Theophostic Prayer Ministry session where I had a memory of someone telling me in about the 6th grade, "YOU don't need a training bra". That statement stayed with me all my life until recently. It was a lie, of course; but no matter how big my bra size became, I saw myself as 'lacking'. So every time I would begin to lose weight and my bust measurements would shrink I would start to panic and think,"Something must be wrong with me", or "Something is lacking in me", or "I am not normal". Those were 12-year old conclusions in reaction to another 12-year old's observations of me that were actually misconceptions that I had latched onto as truth. Through the ministry of the Holy Spirit speaking His truth to me, I don't believe those lies anymore. The amazing truth is, there is nothing wrong with me, I am not lacking anything, and losing weight in my bust does not make mean I am not "normal" or "lacking". This has been life-changing for me and I hope, others will be free also from any similar childhood beliefs that are hindering their attempts at healthy weight loss.