Genesis Process Change Group
💕Leeanna
DO YOU FEEL STUCK IN A DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
“Why do I do the very thing I don’t want to do”? What will it take to make me uncomfortable enough to CHANGE?
Stagnation is staying stuck in the middle of a double bind. Resolving double binds is the key for change.
Discomfort/pain is usually the motivator for change. Doing the right thing is usually the hard thing. Simply making a choice to act can result in reducing the power of the double binds and destructive behaviors those produce.
DOUBLE-BINDS
Identify the double bind by Charting out the
PROBLEM: example FOOD
WHAT DOES GOD SAY ABOUT FOOD?
What Scripture comes to mind?
IF I DO CHANGE, I FEAR....
What Will Happen if I Give Up the FOOD Problem or Resolve it? What is the bad thing I will feel/experience/be vulnerable to if I change?
IF I DON’T CHANGE, I FEAR...
What Will Happen If I Do Not Change and keep avoiding the PROBLEM OF FOOD? What might be the consequence of NOT changing? A year from now, where might I be if I do not change?
THE RIGHT THING TO DO
Identify the right thing to do. What’s the hardest of the two? To Change or not to change?
WHAT/WHEN/WHO/WHERE/HOW
What specific and practical step can I take towards change this week and who will keep me accountable? Move towards what you fear and take ACTION!
DOUBLE-BINDS
An Example of Double-Bind concerning Food:
DOUBLE-BIND PROPLEM: FOOD
#1 ON THE ONE HAND
IDENTIFY WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DO MOVE TOWARD CHANGE BY ASKING QUESTIONS:
Look for the negative unconscious beliefs driving this behavior by asking yourself questions:
What bad thing do I believe will happen if I lose the weight, stop turning to food, and change?
If I give up food as a way to cope, I will have to ask for help. I will have to feel rather than feed my feelings of loneliness, anger, anxiety, sense of failure (due to a belief that I can’t maintain for life so why bother—hopelessness), sadness that I will miss out on fun of eating out or have a stifling, dull existence, I will be deprived or other negative beliefs. I also may have to deal with attracting attention to myself; good or bad or I will be ridiculed or judged for doing something others don’t approve of or cannot do. I may have to feel the pain of being “different”, not fitting in with the crowd, “missing out” on what others “get” to have, etc. this keeps me stuck and resistant to change.
#2 ON THE OTHER HAND,
IDENTIFY WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON’T CHANGE BY ASKING QUESTIONS:
What bad thing will happen if I don’t change, if I keep turning to food for comfort?
If I don’t change and keep going in the same pattern and direction I have been, for another year or two, or ten, what will more than likely be the result?
If I don’t give up eating when not hungry, if I don’t stay on a healthy eating plan, and consistently take my supplements 😊 I will continue to jeopardize my health, feel like a failure, become more isolated and alone, and continue to stuff and not deal with what I’m using the food to cope with.
THE HARD THING IS THE RIGHT THING
Which of these two things are the hardest thing to do? That’s probably the right thing to do and God will bless it. (The hardest thing to do is #2: Stick with the plan! Feel and identify my feelings and beliefs, when confronted with things that come up in #1).
Coping behaviors like overeating, TEMPORARILY push back unwanted thoughts, feelings and memories.
Which is harder? Which is the right thing to do? What does God say about this?
CHANGE INVOLVES RISK
What am I willing to do THIS WEEK, to risk out of this stuck place, by moving toward resolving this double bind? Where am I in the “Hope Cycle”? HOPE comes from CHANGE, CHANGE comes from RISK, RISK comes from FAITH, FAITH gives you HOPE to CHANGE and RISK again!
What specific and practical thing can I do to move towards what I fear the most this week, in order to make a change? WHAT I FEAR THE MOST is keeping me from what I need the most. I WORSHIP WHAT I FEAR.
What does the Bible/God say about Fear?
ACCOUNTABILITY
Who will you share this with and allow them to follow up in a week?
Repeat this process weekly.