Recently, as I was taking notes and looking down at my lap, I had the thought "you are really small", in reference to my bust. Even though I am a 34F, that thought felt true to me. It was a random, but familiar thought. Soon after that thought, as I was at the sink washing my hands and looking into the mirror I realized, "You are NOT small!", Then, I immediately felt God telling me, "When you look into the 'Mirror' of Truth you see reality; when you walk away from the 'Mirror of Truth' you immediately go back to believing the old lies'. Soon after this happened, I had a Theophostic Prayer Ministry session where I had a memory of someone telling me in about the 6th grade, "YOU don't need a training bra". That statement stayed with me all my life until recently. It was a lie, of course; but no matter how big my bra size became, I saw myself as 'lacking'. So every time I would begin to lose weight and my bust measurements would shrink I would start to panic and think,"Something must be wrong with me", or "Something is lacking in me", or "I am not normal". Those were 12-year old conclusions in reaction to another 12-year old's observations of me that were actually misconceptions that I had latched onto as truth. Through the ministry of the Holy Spirit speaking His truth to me, I don't believe those lies anymore. The amazing truth is, there is nothing wrong with me, I am not lacking anything, and losing weight in my bust does not make mean I am not "normal" or "lacking". This has been life-changing for me and I hope, others will be free also from any similar childhood beliefs that are hindering their attempts at healthy weight loss.
I know you are feeling sad, angry, ashamed, lost, alone, unloved, uncared for, unappreciated, abandoned, rejected, and a million other bad things. I see it in your eyes and in your tears; in what you say and in what you don't say. I know you wonder if this pain will ever go away, if you can ever forget it, push it down deep enough that you never see or feel it again, but suddenly, when you least expect it, it bursts forth like a volcano...bubbling over, memories crashing down around you, again...Beloved, as you are strengthened by the Holy Spirit, and as you begin to see Him faithful in meeting you in each of those painful memories, you will feel those chains begin to fall off. You have begun a very important journey that so very few Christians know to travel: Putting on the Armor, and marching into those places where pain and lies reside, and bringing each and every one of those lies to the foot of the cross for Jesus to speak TRUTH to. When the Holy Spirit speaks truth, the lies crumble. The only power satan has in a Believer's heart, is the through the lies we believe. He is the LIAR and Father of Lies; so He tries to keep us bound up and shakled by tormenting us with his relentless, button-pushing, LYING little self. BUT GOD who dwells within us is greater than any lie. We just have to be willing to "go there" and take back the ground that we, as young adults, teenagers, little children (sometimes infants) innocently gave him. We are not little chidren ANY MORE. We are strong in the Lord and in the strength of HIS might, we can take on any foe--including the father of lies. I am praying for you now and EVERY DAY, that each and every day you would have the grace and the strength to go to EACH and every painful memory in your past (one by one, week by week) until you have discovered all the lies you have believed about yourself in each one and as you lift those lies up to Jesus and ask Him his opinion, that you then receive every truth Jesus has for you in each one. Write down what HE tells you and believe HIM. It is in choosing to believe Jesus and His opinion instead of the lies, that we are set free and the chains come off...unshakled, free to dance, free to laugh, free to be. You can do this! When you know (intimately, and experiencially), know the Truth, then you will be free indeed. My love and prayers are with you forever. Be free. That is my prayer.
In the Word today, I was so amazed to look at these refernces again and ponder anew the reality of Christ IN US, our Hope of glory!! I hope you take the time to read and ponder them for yourself. You will leap with unexpected joy inside, when you do! We are looking at how God dwelt with man in the Old Testament/Covenant; and how He dwells with us now, in the new Testament/Covenant.
OLD TESTAMENT:
Exodus 19:18 Now Mount Sinai was all in smoke because the LORD descended upon it in fire; and its smoke ascended like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked violently.
Exodus 40:33-35 He erected the court all around the tabernacle and the altar, and hung up the veil for the gateway of the court. Thus Moses finished the work. Then the cloud covered the tent of meeting, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle Moses was not able to enter the tent of meeting because the cloud had settled on it, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.
2 Chronicles 5:1-14 Thus all the work that Solomon performed for the house of the LORD was finished. And Solomon brought in the things that David his father had dedicated, even the silver and the gold and all the utensils, and put them in the treasuries of the house of God. Then Solomon assembled to Jerusalem the elders of Israel and all the heads of the tribes, the leaders of the fathers' households of the sons of Israel, to bring up the ark of the covenant of the LORD out of the city of David, which is Zion. All the men of Israel assembled themselves to the king at the feast, that is in the seventh month. Then all the elders of Israel came, and the Levites took up the ark. They brought up the ark and the tent of meeting and all the holy utensils which were in the tent; the Levitical priests brought them up. And King Solomon and all the congregation of Israel who were assembled with him before the ark, were sacrificing so many sheep and oxen that they could not be counted or numbered. Then the priests brought the ark of the covenant of the LORD to its place, into the inner sanctuary of the house, to the holy of holies, under the wings of the cherubim. For the cherubim spread their wings over the place of the ark, so that the cherubim made a covering over the ark and its poles.The poles were so long that the ends of the poles of the ark could be seen in front of the inner sanctuary, but they could not be seen outside; and they are there to this day. There was nothing in the ark except the two tablets which Moses put there at Horeb, where the LORD made a covenant with the sons of Israel, when they came out of Egypt. When the priests came forth from the holy place (for all the priests who were present had sanctified themselves, without regard to divisions), and all the Levitical singers, Asaph, Heman, Jeduthun, and their sons and kinsmen, clothed in fine linen, with cymbals, harps and lyres, standing east of the altar, and with them one hundred and twenty priests blowing trumpets in unison when the trumpeters and the singers were to make themselves heard with one voice to praise and to glorify the LORD, and when they lifted up their voice accompanied by trumpets and cymbals and instruments of music, and when they praised the LORD saying, "He indeed is good for His lovingkindness is everlasting," then the house, the house of the LORD, was filled with a cloud, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the house of God.
2 Chronicles 7:1-3 Now when Solomon had finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices, and the glory of the LORD filled the house. The priests could not enter into the house of the LORD because the glory of the LORD filled the LORD'S house. All the sons of Israel, seeing the fire come down and the glory of the LORD upon the house, bowed down on the pavement with their faces to the ground, and they worshiped and gave praise to the LORD, saying, "Truly He is good, truly His lovingkindness is everlasting."
God's FIRE coming down like a lightning bolt-(remembering here the dream God gave me Christmas Eve--thanks going up and simultaneously His atomic power, like lightning bolt with fire, coming down); His Shekinah Glory (visible dwelling of God-The Cloud); God's Presence among his people; in answer to prayer!
Then, the New Testament:
Matthew 1:18-25 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. "She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins." Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: "BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL," which translated means, "GOD WITH US." And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took Mary as his wife, but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son; and he called His name Jesus.
John 2:13-17 The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who were selling oxen and sheep and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. And He made a scourge of cords, and drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables; and to those who were selling the doves He said, "Take these things away; stop making My Father's house a place of business." His disciples remembered that it was written, "ZEAL FOR YOUR HOUSE WILL CONSUME ME."
John 1:12-17 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John *testified about Him and cried out, saying, "This was He of whom I said, 'He who comes after me has a higher rank than I, for He existed before me.'" For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.
Jesus is Immanuel, Word of God, made flesh, and who Tabernacled among us. We beheld His Glory; like Father, Like Son. God dwelling with us in the Divine tabernacle of His Body; revealed the fullness of God. He explained the Father. Jesus, in us, is God, The Cloud, The Glory, The Shekinah Glory, dwelling within us! We are His Temple; His Cloud, His fire, is in us! Oh God, help us to comprehend this awesomeness! Help us to behold and sense This Power, and to live as though YOU dwell and Tabernacle within us! Oh LORD, allow us to behold your Manifest Presence and visibly see you, even as Israel saw you in Exodus, on the Mountain of God, and in the Temple. LORD let us visibly see you and feel your power within. May we glorify you in these temples of flesh and KNOW what a treasure we contain in these "arks of flesh", containers of the Living God! What a mystery...what a privelege...what a responsibility! Amen.
THANKSGIVING CHRISTMAS 2009
With Love and Peace and Thanks, Leeanna Porter
Early this morning, I awoke from a dream where God was telling me something I felt was meant for everyone who will believe. He said that when we give Him thanks, it is at that very instant that the atomic power of God explodes towards us in blessing. I could actually see the thanksgiving rising up to God and, simultaneously, the atomic power of God exploding down like lightning fire. As I pondered this amazing vision, I believe the Spirit of the Lord was imparting faith and a supernatural ability to believe Him and to try Him at His Word.
My prayer for 2010 is that in every circumstance and in every situation, we would remember this vision, practice giving Him prayers of thanksgiving and begin to watch His atomic power explode towards us in response.
2Thessalonians 1:11-12 To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Psalm 21:13 Be exalted, O LORD, in Your strength; We will sing and praise Your power. 2 Peter 1:2-4 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. 1 Peter 1:3-5 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. Hebrews 1:1-4 God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways, in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world. And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power. When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much better than the angels, as He has inherited a more excellent name than they. Hebakkuk 3:3-4 God comes from Teman, And the Holy One from Mount Paran. Selah. His splendor covers the heavens, And the earth is full of His praise. His radiance is like the sunlight; He has rays flashing from His hand, And there is the hiding of His power. Nahum 1:3 The LORD is slow to anger and great in power, And the LORD will by no means leave the guilty unpunished. In whirlwind and storm is His way, And clouds are the dust beneath His feet. Dan 2:20 Daniel said, "Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever, For wisdom and power belong to Him. Dan 2:23 "To You, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise, For You have given me wisdom and power; Even now You have made known to me what we requested of You, For You have made known to us the king's matter."Jer 32:17 'Ah Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You, Jer 16:20-21 Can man make gods for himself? Yet they are not gods! "Therefore behold, I am going to make them know-- This time I will make them know My power and My might; And they shall know that My name is the LORD." Pro 8:14 "Counsel is mine and sound wisdom; I am understanding, power is mine. Rev 11:17 saying, "We give You thanks, O Lord God, the Almighty, who are and who were, because You have taken Your great power and have begun to reign. Rev 4:11 "Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created." Rev 5:12 saying with a great voice, Worthy is the Lamb having been slain to receive the power and riches and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and blessing. Rev 7:12 saying, "Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever. Amen."
Hi Friend,
I have to say, I didn't know you had another friend except for me (ha,ha!! That's a JOKE, just kiddin' ya!!)....You are an amazing woman, very special (not special like Walmart Special; special like Imported Fine Crystal intertwined with Jerusalem Clay Pottery Sculpture Special)... You say you think you are ordinary and had an ordinary life, well, I can only compare yours with mine. My mom also sewed for me. Everything I wore up until 9th grade was handmade. Even my winter coats were created by hand. I used to dream of store-bought clothes like my peers wore! My mom sewed my clothes during the night hours because her day job was being a seamstress to ladies like Eleanor Warren, as in the Warren Brothers Lumber Company in Beaumont, Texas. I know, impressive, right?! Funny how you always know the right subjects to bring up to remind us of how "special" our childhoods were. The unhappy parts of our childhoods and what we came to believe about ourselves because of them, made us who we are today. Our choices over what we came to believe (lies) about ourselves because of those events have driven our emotions like an electric locomotive on a straight path to nowhere. But there is always hope to change that path when we choose to revisit those painful places and root out the lies and replace them with truth. Someone once told me "people can't change". I strongly disagree. I have changed A LOT...well maybe I should agree with that person and say I didn't change anything, God changed me as I yielded myself to truth. I thank God for my opportunities to have a conversation with Him when these old memories trigger sadness or other negative emotions. I think I will go have a conversation with God right now! Thank you for always challenging our hearts and minds and NO, you are no where close to ordinary my friend....no where close!
I had a private memorial service for a sweet, baby bunny rabbit today. I had just noticed it in my yard two days ago, as my 6 month old twin yorkie babies were frantically chasing it around the yard. In and out of the flower garden and right up to the border of the briar patches (bougainvillas) they sprinted until all three were completely out of breath. Bear & Bella were delighted with their new "toy". Only I knew this was no toy and this little creature needed to stay in the briar bushes where the yorkies wouldn't go. The yorkies had already been practicing the chase with the baby bunny's parents for weeks. I saw one of those parents on Sunday afternoon. It was chased out of the flowers by the twins. With Bear & Bella hot on his tail, the rabbit crashed right through an opening about 1 1/2 inches in width!!! I was amazed at what I had just seen...the courage and the faith that rabbit had to run, crashing, right into that tiny opening without any hesitation! Now I am sure this rabbit had done this deed many other times in haste, but it was the first time I had ever seen such a feat. That rabbit weighed at least 5 pounds and was as wide and tall as my biggest yorkie. It seemed impossible to me that it could get through that opening...but he didn't have my lack of faith. But back to the memorial service today. I was on the phone rejoicing with a dear friend over a great victory she had in a certain matter, when I heard all the commotion outside. I don't know if my yorkies scared that baby bunny to death or if it died some other way, but they were viciously fighting each other over who would get to play with the now deceased "toy". I had to pull them apart with all my strength as they were deeply engaged in harming each other. I prayed out loud, "Lord, don't let them bite ME in their ferver". They didn't bite me and for that I was thankful...for me AND for them, if you know what I mean. After I got the twins into the house, I went back out to the bunny. It was frozen stiff in a sprinting position with its eyes still open. It broke my heart. It looked like it was still alive, so much so that I had to get down and poke it to make sure. I went inside to find a suitable burial box and found just the right one. Then, of course, I had to find flowers, which I did. Pretty ones, blue daze, knock-out red roses, and some golden orange ones that I can never remember the name of. Then I wrote out a prayer to God. It was actually a prayer of praise and victory. Victory because I believe that bunny will live again, because I care and because I asked God for that. One day, in the 1000-year reign of Christ on earth, the lion will lay with the lamb and I just imagine the yorkie will cuddle with the bunny as well. I hope my yorkies cuddle with this bunny and, in doggie talk, tell it how sorry they were to frighten it so and treat it like an inanimate toy. But that is really stretching the faith! What I realized from this event today is that life has its ups and downs--great moments of victorious shouting and praising and singing over some great and marvelous things, which can quickly, in an instant, turn into great mourning and sadness over the death of a sweet, innocent thing. But I also realized that perspectives can be a choice and in that moment, I chose to rejoice. I found a way to praise God. I praised Him because I was able to see faith lived out by its parents in crashing through an impossibly small opening. I praised Him because He showed me life can be like that...we are offered a way of escape from what is trying to beat us down or take us out and we just have to have the courage to bust through that opening no matter how impossible it seems. We have others who have gone before us and who have shown us the way it can be done. We can follow their example or, we can try it our way...the way the baby bunny did...making ourselves vulnerable to our own inexperience and maybe even prideful self-success. I praised Him because I realized that unless we follow the example of our mentors and elders who have walked this way before and succeeded, we will find ourselves trying to do it our way, the inexperienced way, the way that only leads to destruction and death of a dream and, sometimes, sadly, even loss of a sweet, precious life. My vison is a little clearer tonight because I had a private memorial service today.
I remember reading a book once called The Weigh Down Diet. Although I choose not to eat all the foods she talks about right now, there is so much good advice and tips in it. I remember that the book said to eat whatever you want, (or for some of us, whatever is on our eating plan), but small portions and usually only half of what you would normally eat. Like when you go to a restaurant, immediately ask for a "to go" box and divide your food in half. Then, with the food that is left on your plate, immediately rate each food. Like give the meat a #1 and the peas a #2, etc and eat accordingly...she said in the book to distinguish between head hunger and real hunger and always be tuned in to what your body is really asking for. Head hunger is just the flesh wanting its own way. Real hunger produces a growl or pain in the stomach and usually will only occur once or twice a day UNLESS you discipline yourself to eat very small portions. She said to eat very slowly (if you have m&m's for instance, eat ONE at a time and savor it) and think about each bite and how it relates to the real hunger. The minute you are no longer feeling the growl or pain, and are satisfied that you are no longer truly hungry, then at that moment stop eating. There will always be another meal or you can take the rest of the meal home for later. The lie we believe is that we will never have another meal like the one we are presently eating...or we will never get to taste wedding cake again, etc., etc. But those are just lies...the truth is, once we reach our goals...we could go to the bakery and order a wedding cake if we wanted to! Let's stop believing the lies and falling for the desires of the flesh. It is in opposition to what we really want--a healthy body and to succeed in our goals. We can do this!